Be patient with me :/

"Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?"


Always liked Linkin Park haha....
Maybe because for the past week, i've literally been crawling in my skin. Yeah, pretty lame, I just dropped a song name, but seriously. I don't know what the fuck is up, i'm sick of this, it's getting fucking old feeling like this. The crying is WAYYYYYYY old. Yet i've been breaking down hard everyday, sometimes unable to talk because I want to cry so bad, and the burning in my chest hurts from keeping it in.

But why? fuck, if I knew, I'd make it go away.
and be Normal again. be ME again. Instead of driving people I love away, I don't want that to happen. Drive everyone crazy by my own craziness... people say they will always be there, but they don't know what it is they're their for, I don't even know :[ what if it's too much for them to handle? If this just gets old? I already sound like a broken record, this already annoys the shit out of me. I trust the people that say they're here for me. But what if I just become a burden. I've seen it happen, in my own house. Mom and Dad.
I don't want to be seen that way.
I'm not that way.

That's why everyday I'm going to fight this. For the sake of myself, and my relationships, the people I love are what keep me going. and for the hope that I will be fine again,

I'm not fucking unfixable, damaged.
I'm scarred,broken but who the fuck isn't?
Things that are broken can be put back together again.


Just please be patient with me. Please...


<3